Planning Tips and Ideas
Margot's traditional New England wedding is featured in the Spring 2005 issue of Elegant Bride (The Maine Event, p. 212). We asked her for planning pointers to help other brides-to-be. Here's her advice.
How I Planned my Wedding
Though we wanted to be married in a very traditional setting, we knew that we would have a fairly non-traditional guest list. Both Philip and I lived abroad for a number of years, so though he grew up in New York, and I grew up primarily in Boston, we had friends flying in from all over the world (literally - from Paris and Hong Kong to Bangkok and Nairobi). We wanted to make sure that whatever we planned would both reflect our deep respect for the customs and values of the place where we were to be married, and would be sophisticated and elegant enough to delight the senses of all of our city guests.
Beyond the cultural issues related to this objective, there were practical issues as well. Hiring a wedding planner in New York would have made it easier for me to be part of the process on a day-to-day in-person basis, but I ultimately decided to work with Krista Hastings from Maine. Her sense of style and logistical savoir faire were the perfect match for our aims, and because she lived where we were to be married, she was able to be my eyes and ears for much of the process. She made the logistical side of our wedding weekend - which involved three full days of festivities in about five different locations (from a lighthouse on an otherwise deserted island, to a yacht club in Seal Harbor, to a rehearsal dinner location that could only be reached by ferry, to my husband's family's estate) - run incredibly smoothly. In addition, because she was incredibly knowledgeable about the area, and had long standing relationships with all of the local vendors we used, she was able to make the planning process a breeze despite the fact that I lived 500 miles away in Manhattan.
Only Krista understood immediately that we wanted a simple Maine wedding with a touch of New York sophistication, not a Manhattan-style extravaganza on the ocean - and knew how to take that vision from the theoretical to the practical.
How long did it take to plan?
Philip proposed in July of 2003, and we were married almost exactly a year later. Though I wasn’t especially keen on such a long engagement, it ended up being one of the wisest things we could have done. We were able to spend the first few months enjoying the engagement itself – celebrating with friends and family – before planning the wedding took over our lives. Krista Hastings built a ten month timeline which outlined in precise detail the decisions we needed to make in order to have everything work smoothly. On the one hand, Northeast Harbor is a very small community, so we had to import many of the elements that we wanted - from flowers to our bands to our photographer. On the other, it has some of the most talented artisans and most beautiful venues in the country, and we wanted to use as many local resources as possible. To meet those twin goals, we had to deal with vendors from all over the country, all of whom were in extraordinarily high demand. That meant that Krista had to be absolutely methodical and precise about reserving everything we needed very much in advance, and had to be on location to make sure that everything was organized seamlessly. Krista rose to the challenge, and I will never be able to thank her enough for her efforts.
My Biggest Challenge
Ironically, the biggest challenge we faced had to do with making our prospective guests understand the urgency of planning ahead to join us. There are very few flights to the island each day, and only four inns or hotels in the town in which we were being married, so everything filled up really quickly.
In addition to sending out a save the date note about eight months in advance, we also sent a separate travel and accommodation packet and, after the invitation was out, another packet with the weekend schedule, and maps of the area. Sending that many mailings was a serious undertaking – but the wonderfully creative and professional people at Soho Letterpress made pulling those elements together one of the highlights of the process, and made sure that the end results not only conveyed all the information necessary, but were beautiful, complementary to the wedding’s theme, and one of a kind.
My Biggest Splurge
There is no question but that hiring the team we did was not inexpensive; that said, their professionalism and perfectionism were ultimately very critical to the successful execution of our wedding weekend. Unexpected last minute emergencies will always arise, and that the more experienced your team, the more likely it is that they will be willing and able to rally on your behalf to make everything turn out beautifully.
My Tips for Other Brides
My most significant piece of advice is simple: work with people that you feel are truly committed to making your wedding beautiful so that you can relax enough to focus on its most important elements – the extraordinary significance of the occasion to you, your future husband, and your respective families. Without the right team, the stress of the occasion can sometimes overwhelm its deeper importance.
Finding that team is a bit of a challenge, but I found that using personal recommendations from professionals in the field that you trust is the surest way to do so. If your first hire is a photographer whose work you love, ask him for his thoughts on decorators and florists. If your florist is the first one you find, ask her what she thinks about the photographers you’re thinking about working with. From what I have seen, the wedding industry is very close-knit, and everyone knows everyone else. All you really need is some guidance from one insider to decode much of the hype, and to narrow down your vendor lists with confidence!